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What doesn’t kill you…

What do peacocks and stepmoms have in common? 

peacock featherBack in the spring, my stepmom support group got together. It’s always a welcome source of support, but after one stepmom shared an especially heart-wrenching situation that left her feeling hopeless, we felt a little hopeless, too. Silence ensued for a minute until a wise stepmom sister spoke up.

“Do you know the story of the peacock?” she asked. We shook our heads.

“Well,” she continued. “They forage on poisonous plants that other creatures can’t digest. But instead of the poison making them sick, it actually makes their feathers vibrant and beautiful. The peacock’s plumage is proof that God can turn poison into something beautiful.”

I’ve always felt that the greatest benefit to being a stepmom is the process of refinement. It’s plain hard. Toxic even. But if you’re willing to turn the poison of dysfunction, irreconcilable relationships and difficult family dynamics over to the Lord, He really can transform that into something beautiful. Moreover, He will make you beautiful and strong as you wrestle with the hard stuff of being a stepmom.

I’ve lived a lot of life. I adopted two children from two countries…I’ve traveled across this great country and around the world…and I’ve had several jobs in television and radio. But nothing–nothing–has made me stronger, more confident and more resourceful than being a stepmom. If you can weather this role successfully, you can rule the world! But you still need a strong support base to bolster you through the tough times and celebrate with you during the good times.

My stepmom sister who shared this peacock story is part of a team called “”The Sisterhood of Stepmoms.” For the cost of a single therapy session, they offer you an entire weekend retreat to equip you to be a smart stepmom led by experts and life coaches who’ve walked in your shoes. In fact, the author of “The Smart Stepmom,” Laura Petherbridge, speaks at these retreats to offer honest, insightful advice. I’m not paid to endorse this at all but I can tell you, it’s a lifesaver if you’re drowning in the throes of stepfamily drama and you need people to come alongside you that can help pull you back to sanity. Plus, it’s a great way to meet fellow stepmom friends who totally get you. Do you know how rare this is?

The next retreat is coming up September 26-28, 2014 in Asheville, North Carolina. Sign up here.You won’t be sorry!

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